i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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