Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
