You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
