Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
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On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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