just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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