There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
