u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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