made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize
