u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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