plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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