"it" just moved
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
