go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
