So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
