you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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