a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
