Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize