Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
