i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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