Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
