May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
