Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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