No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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