i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
