I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
