I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
