I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I think your dad took our porno
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
