I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
