I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
