Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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