How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.