yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
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Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.