Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
there was a trapeze. enough said
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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