why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
