best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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