I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Quick, to the slutcave!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
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