My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
