i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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