its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
