Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
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