Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
