If that was your dad, he is hot
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
