The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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