do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
