Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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