Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We don't watch enough power rangers
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize