I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
