His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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