its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The power of my boobs compel you
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
