I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
