Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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