Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I can't put those talents on a resume
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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