We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
BRING THE BAGELS
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
