She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
