we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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