Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize