He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
