found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize