TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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