they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Holy shit dude........stairs
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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