Heybabeimwearingurpanties
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
