you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
