i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize