look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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