I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
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